


You Vanquish My Heart When You Look At Me (A Reylo Fic)

by ravensandviolins



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Feels, Future tearjerker, Gentle Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren in Love, Protective Kylo Ren, Rey is a virgin, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Romantic Kylo Ren, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, You should be crying by the end of this fic, they will face a crisis that threatens to tear them apart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-17 02:43:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravensandviolins/pseuds/ravensandviolins
Summary: Kylo is infatuated with Rey. When their love blossoms, a crisis arises that neither one could have ever imagined and it threatens to tear them apart and shatter their paradise.*My first Reylo fic*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> van·quish  
> ˈvaNGkwiSH/  
> verb  
> \- defeat thoroughly.
> 
>  
> 
> This is my first Reylo fic, so I'm nervous about its reception :-0 I have always written Kylo & reader, but I ship these two and I have been waiting for episode 8 to see if they bring these two together, but I'm tired of waiting. And since it's fiction, well, if they turn out to be related; they're not in this story :o)
> 
> Just a romance fic with feels and angst to come. Grab a box of tissues...

Rey is just like her namesake - a ray of light, a ray of sunshine; at least, that is what Kylo Ren believes.

Rey came to work at First Order Industries, roughly three months ago. Kylo had become infatuated with Rey the day that she strolled into his office, to meet her appointed boss.

Rey found Kylo attractive as did the other numerous female employees of First Order, however, Kylo had this aura about him that made him unapproachable and intimidating to most women.

Kylo knew he was personified this way and it was at his own doing. He wanted to create a barrier and to keep people at a distance, but now, having met Rey, Kylo was having a change of heart.

Rey made him feel more alive, than he has felt in a long time. Kylo couldn’t remember when it was the last time that he actually experienced a glimmer of happiness.

Kylo was deeply, sexually frustrated. His relationships never flourished. The women would complain about his size; he’s too big and therefore, sex was always either uncomfortable or too painful for them. It seemed like forever since the last time that he was allowed to ejaculate inside of a woman. He thought it was bullshit, how these women say they want and prefer a bigger dick, but yet, when they experience one, they whine about it.

Kylo had pretty much given up on having a satisfying relationship. Now that Rey has come into his life, hope was welling up inside of him for another chance at happiness.

****  
While in the break room one afternoon during lunch time, Kylo heard Rey and another female coworker approaching. He panics and hides behind the door, hoping that he wouldn’t be discovered. It had worked.

“How do you like the boss?” Veronica, the coworker, asked Rey.

“Which boss? THE boss, or do you mean Kylo?”

“Well of course, Kylo.” Veronica says with a grin.

“He’s better than Mr. Snoke. Snoke is scary. Kylo… he’s very attractive, but he scares me as well.” Rey confesses.

Kylo’s heart sinks in his chest and he frowns upon hearing Rey’s admission.

“I don’t think Kylo likes too many people.” Rey adds.

“Eh, it depends. He’s moody and broody.” Veronica laughs.

Kylo narrows his eyes at Veronica’s comments. It wasn’t anything untrue about what she said, Kylo has to admit.

Veronica makes her a cup of coffee while Rey grabs her lunch out of the refrigerator.

“Let’s go downstairs and out to the park, for lunch.” Veronica suggest.

With that, the two women leave and Kylo can reveal himself, once more.

Kylo decided that it was time he show Rey a different side to his personality.

****  
The next day at the office…

Veronica comes dashing into Rey’s office.

“Ren is on the loose, he’s doing evaluations.” Veronica informs, while out of breath.

“Already? But I haven't been here long enough to be under evaluation!” Rey laments.

Veronica peeks out into the hallway and spies Kylo headed in their direction.

“I better go, before he gets here.” Veronica declares.

She holds a file folder in her hand and as she turns to leave, she rams right into Kylo, dropping her file to the floor.

“Mr. Ren! My apologies, I am so clumsy today.” Veronica says in a vulnerable tone, hoping Kylo won’t go off on her for her blunder.

Kylo bends down to collect the papers and the folder, and hands them to Veronica.

Veronica’s eyes are wide as she couldn't believe that Kylo is not perturbed for a change.

Kylo hands the documents back to Veronica and smiles.

“Th…thank you.” Veronica says, dumbfounded. She departs the office.

Rey stands up from her desk and addresses Kylo.

“Mr. Ren, what a pleasant surprise to see you.” Rey smiles, hoping her nervousness is not showing.

Kylo approaches Rey and he picks up on the subtle tremble and how his towering frame makes Rey nervous as her eyes slightly widen as he approaches.

“Please, sit down.” Kylo says in a low tone, making note not to sound too harsh towards Rey.

Kylo, himself, sits down in the chair opposite of Rey. He doesn’t want to appear as threatening and by making himself smaller, seemed to be the more viable solution.

He notices Rey is starting to look a little more relaxed.

“You’ve been with First Order for three months now, and I’ve only heard the best things spoken about your work ethic.

“Thank you.” Rey imparts.

“Because of this, I would like to promote you in becoming my personal assistant.”

Kylo watches as he scrutinizes Rey’s reaction to his promotion.

Rey’s eyes widen and she smiles.

“Mr. Ren… I…I don’t know what to say, only - thank you.” Rey is left speechless.

Kylo smirks.

“Then it is settled, you will be moving into my office Monday, of next week. As we speak, they are finishing up the corner office that is being built for my new assistant.”

Kylo stands up and Rey follows suit. She extends her hand and Kylo is a little caught of guard. Rey has initiated their first physical contact. Kylo shakes her hand, both noting the size difference how his large hands eclipses her dainty fingers. Kylo makes sure that his touch is gentle.

Kylo notes how warm to touch that Rey feels; all this from just a miniscule handshake.

Kylo turns to leave. “Thank you, again, Mr. Ren.” Rey calls to him. Kylo looks back with a smile, a smile for his ‘Rey of light’.

****  
Kylo’s concocted plan was working out like a charm. He wanted Rey all to himself, and so, having her become his assistant - she would spend the majority of the day in his office and therefor in his line of sight.

Rey was nervous as hell to be under Kylo’s watchful eye, every work day. Sure, she had a custom cubicle built for her, with a nice desk and it was rather spacious for a corner ‘office,’ but being in the same room with her boss for 8 hours, was a little daunting.

The first two days, Kylo didn’t demand much of Rey. He thought he was being kind to let her adjust to the new setting.

But after day three, Kylo was becoming a nuisance to Rey.

Every little thing, he called her to perform. He wanted copies of papers, when the copy machine was literally sitting right behind him, on a table. He could turn himself around in his office chair and make all the copies he wanted, but no, he had to call Rey.

Of course, Kylo did things to have Rey closer to him and hopefully for more interaction, but Rey was becoming more and more perturbed with Kylo Ren.

****  
Lunch break, day 4 of being Kylo’s assistant…

“Veronica, he is driving me mad. He won’t even do the basics!” Rey vents her frustration.

Veronica chuckles.

“I’m not an assistant, I’m a slave. A slave to Kylo Ren.” Rey sighs loudly.

“Maybe he likes you.” Veronica offers.

“Yeah, likes to make me perform mundane tasks.”

“No, really. Maybe he is just doing these things to have you around him. Think about it.” Veronica gives a coy smile.

“Ren doesn’t like anyone.” Rey reiterates.

“I’m just saying…” Veronica adds.

****  
Kylo found the after-hours unbearable. When he came home to his luxury apartment, he wanted nothing more than for time to fly, so he can return back to the office and see Rey.

He lost sleep over this girl.

He also found pleasure over this girl.

Kylo would take himself in hand and fantasize about Rey being his. Her petite body, quivering in his arms as he shielded her from the world. He wanted to give her everything.

He wanted to hear Rey calling his name, he wanted to finally be able to enjoy the sexual experience, to let himself go and fuck with wild abandonment as he wished. But Kylo laments that his size would probably be a struggle for Rey’s lithe body to accept, and to ever make it enjoyable for her as well as it would be for him. Kylo wanted nothing more than to experience the pleasures of Rey coming hard for him, on him, and him inside of her losing control, filling her with his very essence. He wanted Rey in every possible way imaginable.

Kylo’s dark tresses tangle in waves on the pillow as his head presses firmly into the pillow as he brings himself to completion, he pants and moans her name - “Rey” as if a promised whisper to be fullfilled.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why did you put yourself on the line, like that?” Kylo gently pulls on Rey’s arm to halt her in her tracks. Rey looks down at his large, demanding hand and Kylo quickly pulls his hand away from her.

Rey had kept it in mind what Veronica had said to her, about how Kylo may be interested in her. It was strange, to Rey, to think of her and her boss becoming a couple and what if the company didn’t allow office romances? She would have to find out. Nonetheless, Rey started coming to work wearing makeup - something she hardly used to bother with prior, and wearing more attractive form fitting clothes.

She wrestled with the notion about wearing tops that were low cut. She felt her breasts were too small and that she didn’t have much of anything to ‘reveal’ to begin with.

Kylo noticed every little minuscule change and detail, no matter how subtle. He noticed the makeup and he was undecided. Rey was beautiful without it and that she felt the need to enhance herself, kind of made Kylo a little downhearted. Rey, his Rey, is perfect and flawless.

He noticed her change in attire as well. And this made the daily work pace a struggle.

One particular morning, Ray came into the office wearing a form fitting vibrant red button-up blouse that was silky in texture, it was neatly tucked into her form fitting black lace pencil skirt that was just shy of falling knee-length and her black pantyhose with the black seam lines up the back, really got Kylo’s heart racing. Whenever he could, he would discreetly watch Rey moving about in the office.

For most part of that day, Kylo had to remain hidden behind the safety of his desk, due to his unprecedented arousal that Rey invoked in him, dressing like that. He ached to know what it would be liked to be the one to run his hands under the seam lines of her stockings as he peeled them off of her legs.

It was to Rey’s benefit, dressing like that, that Kylo didn’t call her over to his desk too often as he tried to avoid her to keep his erections at bay.

At quitting time, Rey noticed Kylo was hardly ready to leave the office. She stopped to inquire.

“Staying at the office?” She chimes.

“Yeah, I have to work on some accounts. Snoke is breathing down my neck to get him this information.” Kylo states in a dreary tone.

“Do you want any help?” Rey cheerfully offers.

Kylo looks up from his laptop and gazes at Rey.

“Thank you. You put in enough time at this soul sucking company.”

Rey chuckles. Kylo smiles that he was able to make her laugh.

“I don’t mind, I don’t have anything better to do at the moment.”

Kylo gestures for Rey to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk.

“If anything, you can keep me company, so I do not fall asleep.” Kylo jests.

“I’m good company.” Rey assures. Kylo did not need to be sold on this idea.

Kylo feigns to work on his laptop and asks Rey to proof read his reports when they are printed. In between, they talk - mainly about Rey.

“You sure I am not keeping you?” Kylo asks as he notes the time, it is after 8p.m.

“No, not at all.”

“You don’t have girlfriends that you could be out at the club with?” Kylo inquires.

“I have in the past, but clubs are just not my thing.”

Kylo decides to go fishing.

“No boyfriend?” He asks nonchalantly.

“Nope, no boyfriend. You must think I’m a real stick in the mud.” Rey says shyly.

Kylo smiles, stifling the wolfish grin that he wants to let spread across his mouth at her confession of being single.

“What about you? No wife, kids?” Rey smoothly inquires without sounding like his reply matters.

Kylo hesitates for an instant, before he responds.

“I’ve heard I’m too intimidating to approach.”

Rey stiffens, wondering if he is insinuating something she has said.

She decides to confess.

“At first glance, you do look intimidating, but after getting to know you you’re not so bad.” Rey says in an ultra feminine, playful tone.

Kylo lowers his head subtly and smirks.

Their back and forth questions, go on for another hour. Finally, Kylo declares that Rey should go home an get some rest. He thanks her for keeping him company.

This after-hours dalliance repeats itself for another two nights.

Then one Friday afternoon, Kylo is summoned to Snoke’s office. Rey tags along.

She stands outside the office as Snoke berates Kylo for jumbling the reports and the accounts with misinformation. Everything was inaccurate and Snoke was super pissed, because it was now costing his company money due to Kylo’s errors.

Kylo apologized when Rey strides into the office at Kylo’s defense.

“Mr. Snoke, this entire situation is my fault. Kylo had me to assist him and I was not as attentive to my duties as I should have been. It isn’t Kylo’s fault, sir. If anyone is to blame, it is me. I understand if you would choose to terminate my employment with First Order Industries.”

Kylo and Snoke both look at Rey. Kylo’s eyes are wide as Rey looks at him, she subtly nods as she awaits Snoke’s decision.

Indirectly, Rey is at fault to an extent. Kylo paid more attention to her than his work when she staid to assist him those nights.

Rey only proofread the reports, but she had no idea what information was correct or was not, she was just there to check for spelling errors and other typos.

“Mr. Snoke, Rey is not at fault.” Kylo protests.

“Don’t listen to him.” Rey interjects. Kylo glares back at Rey.

“I don’t care who is at fault, just get this corrected!” Snoke barks.

“Yes sir.” Kylo submits. Rey retreats from the office. Kylo is left with an ominous, stern warning issued from Snoke.

“This girl, distracts you. See to it that it doesn’t happen again.” Snoke states.

Kylo nods and then leaves Snoke’s office.

Kylo was going to spend the weekend fixing his errors.

“Why did you put yourself on the line, like that?” Kylo gently pulls on Rey’s arm to halt her in her tracks. Rey looks down at his large, demanding hand and Kylo quickly pulls his hand away from her.

“I am to blame, Kylo. We talked most of the time that you should have been working. I couldn’t let you take the heat for my mistake.”

Kylo’s stare turned gentle as he is moved by Rey’s courage to defend him in front of THE boss.

“Thank you.” Kylo tells Rey.

Rey smiles and then lowers her head.

“I guess, I’ll see you on Monday?” She says as she peers back up at him.

Kylo nods.

Kylo would spend the weekend re-doing his reports and thinking obsessively about Rey, now that she had went out on a limb for him. It left him reeling with thoughts that if Rey did have any feelings for him, or was she just being her friendly, 'Rey of sunshine'?

Kylo acts on an impulse. As Rey is walking down the hall, Kylo calls out to her.

“Rey?”

Rey halts and turns back to look at him

“Yes, Mr. Ren?”

Kylo smiles at hearing her polite acknowledgment.

“Next week, would you have dinner with me... one night?” After the words escape his mouth, Kylo panics, fearing the oncoming rejection.

Rey’s split second hesitation, felt like an eternity to Kylo. 

‘Just go ahead and deny me, get it over with.’ He thinks to himself.

“Yes. I would like that very much.” Rey replies, giving him a genuine smile. Then she turns to leave, to retreat to their office.

‘She said yes.’ Kylo tells himself silently as if to reconfirm with himself that his wish is coming true; Kylo remains standing in the hall, watching Rey’s form grow more distant and his heart swelling with anticipation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Kylo to be so tall and in general - big, he was quite graceful in his body’s movements. He easily led Rey in their dance. Kylo noted how Rey fit perfectly into his arms and in his hands as if she were custom made for him and only him alone. Surely Rey had to recognize this as well as he did? He thought.

Kylo had left it up to Rey, to choose the day and time of the dinner date. Tuesday, 6p.m. at Kylo’s place. Kylo had suggested the option of either taking Rey to a restaurant of her choice, or (his secret wish - more privacy) dinner at his apartment. He was thoroughly pleased when Rey chose his place, to have dinner. Rey, in part, wanted to see how Kylo lived and was rather nosy, so this is why she chose to have dinner at Kylo’s.

Kylo agonized over what to have for dinner. Rey told him to surprise her, so, for added measure (and to ensure things are not screwed up,) he has the dinner catered, by an upscale Italian restaurant.

He wants everything to be as perfect as it can be. Looking back, Kylo would laugh, but at the time the daunting choice of whether to put roses on the table or candles or both, perplexed and frustrated the hell out of him. Were roses too forward? Candles too romantic? It was just declared to be a dinner date; nothing more or less. Kylo didn’t want her to feel pressured, nor did he want to come on too strong.

In the end, he chose a few white roses in a vase with two ornate silver candle sticks with two white taper candles. White was neutral, right? White meant purity and white is the color of light, like Rey and her sunshine.

6 p.m. arrived quickly. Kylo had left work around 3, in order to prepare.

The knock came at his door. Kylo had offered to pick up Rey at her apartment, but she politely declined. Kylo was a mess of nerves when he opened the door.

Kylo invited Rey in, helping her slip out of her shrug to reveal her in a burgundy form fitting dress that laced up with strappy ties, in the back. Kylo’s eyes widened as Rey stood before him, her back exposed. So much pristine flesh. His eyes scanned her entire backside thoroughly.

His cock twitched with thoughts about how he wanted to untie her from that dress, slowly.

Kylo quickly had to divert his thoughts, lest he have some explaining for the tenting that was occurring in his pants.

“You look amazing.” Kylo quickly complimented.

“Thank you. This was Veronica’s doing. She chose this dress. She doesn’t know that you are my date. I normally would not wear something so ‘exposing.’ “Rey remarks.

Kylo notes to himself, to find a way to repay Veronica for her thoughtfulness. Kylo and Rey had agreed that they would not mention this dinner date to anyone at work, lest the gossip spread about employee seducing boss, for favoritism.

Kylo makes sure to stay just to the side or behind Rey, until he can get himself under control.

Kylo pulls out the chair for Rey, seating her.

He quickly takes a seat, himself.

Already on the table and under silver serving trays, lies the food that Kylo had catered.

Kylo serves Rey her choices in the variety of dishes he selected. He did not know what her preferences were, so he chose a variety, to ensure there was something to satisfy her palate.

Kylo begin to pour a glass of red wine for Rey.

“You might get into trouble for this.”

Kylo is caught off guard by her comment.

“I’m not 21.”

At first, Kylo inwardly panics. Just how old is Rey? It was never discussed. He was quickly relieved when he recalled how First Order employees must be 18 and older, in order to be hired. At least Rey was of legal age for a relationship with him.

“20.” Rey confirms, when the silence looms for a bit too long.

“What’s one year? I won’t tell, if you won’t.” Kylo winks as he jests.

Rey sips at the wine, finding it not to her liking. Kylo is amused by her seemingly first taste of alcohol.

“It’s an acquired taste.”

“I’ll be ‘acquiring’ for a long time, then.” Rey sits the glass down, sure to avoid it from there on.

Kylo offers to get her something else to drink; she chooses water.

Kylo on the other hand, downs his glass of wine. Rey notes that he only has one glass that night.

****

“I grew up an orphan. Never knew my parents. They left me when I was a couple of years old. I have no memories of them.” Rey confesses to Kylo as they find themselves deep in conversation, after dinner.

Kylo was inwardly angered that anyone would give up this ray of sunshine, without a second thought.

Hearing Rey talk about the harsh reality of her early life, invoked a deep need in Kylo to protect this young woman. Kylo had never felt this need before, nor had he felt this way about another. He knew Rey was strong and capable, because of this experience, but nonetheless he has this urge to take care of her. Whether Rey would be accepting of this, was open to debate.

As the night progressed, Rey inquired about the soft music playing in the background. It was instrumental in nature, mainly piano and sometimes a violin could be heard in the mix.

Kylo grew a little bold and asked Rey if she liked to dance.

“I’ve never tried.” Rey confessed

“Really?” Kylo smirks.

“Would you like to?” Kylo’s voice sounds hopeful.

“Why not?” She smiles her bright smile that vanquishes his heart.

Kylo stands, offering his hand to Rey. He leads her into the living room where there is ample space, to slow dance.

A new track was beginning to play. The room was dimly lit and the candles on the table created a faint glow to the atmosphere.

Kylo carefully and slowly pulled Rey into his embrace; instructing by showing and telling her where he was going to place his hands and where she should place hers on his body.

Rey was wearing modest heels, and it was still a far cry and a long stretch to reach Kylo at his height.

Kylo’s fingers inched toward the crisscrossing straps against her lower back. He wanted to run his fingers under the ties and separate them from against her skin. It would be so easy to liberate Rey from the confines of that dress, he pondered to himself.

Rey secretly enjoyed the closeness of Kylo’s body against hers. The height difference made her weak in the knees; how he towered over her, she felt so small and helpless against him, but she could never let him know this.

For Kylo to be so tall and in general - big, he was quite graceful in his body’s movements. He easily led Rey in their dance. Kylo noted how Rey fit perfectly into his arms and in his hands as if she were custom made for him and only him alone. Surely Rey had to recognize this as well as he did? He thought.

When their dancing came to a close, Kylo excused himself to go to the bathroom. It was too easy to become careless in the moment. There, in the bathroom he could 'cool off'. Rey’s dress, coupled with how she moved against him while dancing (albeit all innocent on Rey’s part, but in Kylo’s mind - nothing was innocent.)

He gripped his erection through his pants. He told himself that he could easily take care of this pressing problem, end his suffering and return, and she’d be none the wiser.

Meanwhile, Rey gave herself a tour of Kylo’s apartment. She noted how his living room was practically the size of her entire apartment. And his bedroom, which she partially glanced into; not wanting to be so rude as to just barge in, noted that his bed is king size and the bedroom - also the size of a small apartment, in its own right. ‘It pays to be a boss.’ She thought.

Kylo managed to get himself under control without ‘handling’ himself further.

By the time dinner and dancing were through, it was after 9p.m. and there was still work, tomorrow. Rey announced this.

Kylo wanted to tell her that she could just call in sick and he would approve the absence, if she would just stay here for the night and talk to him.

“Let me take you home.” Kylo offers.

“Thank you, but I’ll just hail a cab.”

“A cab? Rey, no…no.” Kylo shakes his head and does not abide with this notion.

“Please, just let me take you home. It’s not safe at night for a woman and a cab ride… I just don’t trust that. I would sleep easier knowing...”

“If you insist.” Rey interjects.

Kylo pulls up to the side of the apartment building that Rey directed him to park alongside of.

“Thank you for a most enchanting evening.” Rey smiles. Kylo reciprocates with an own smile.

Rey leans in and gives Kylo a chaste kiss, on the cheek. Kylo will have to settle for this minuscule contact. He absolutely wants more, but only when Rey allows for more.

Kylo watches until Rey has entered the lobby of her building, before driving off.

****  
Kylo liked having Rey in his ‘lair’ it meant no outside interruptions and the attention was entirely focused on only the two of them. He invites her for three more dinner dates, over the course of a month. Rey makes sure to tone it down, in regards to her attire. Rey is dressing more modest, since that first dinner date.

She worries about enticing Kylo, given that this is what dating is all about and the building up into the culmination of physical intimacy. The dilemma is that Rey is a virgin, and is unsure how Kylo will react to this fact. It will change the dynamic of their relationship, she thinks, once it is revealed and she is not sure if it would be for better or worse.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rey.” Kylo whispers her name against her neck. It is more like a plea of desperation, than anything. So much was being asked in just his simple calling of her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little filler, teaser chapter... I know, I know. I'm pressed for time, so it is better than nothing. Plus, I like the build up of the anticipation :->

The work days were excruciating for Kylo. Rey was by his side for eight hours and yet, he couldn’t do anything more than talk, smile and at most, gently caress her arm or hand. The two had thought it best to not reveal that they are seeing one another, after hours. Only veronica knew and she had been sworn to secrecy by Rey and to an unspoken secrecy by Kylo.

Rey preferred their date nights to be at Kylo’s apartment, when they decided to stay in. They had ventured out to the movies and to restaurants as their relationship progressed. Rey was eager to move forward and experience the physical side of their relationship; she was just so nervous.

A part of her wanted Kylo to make this decision, to ask, to take the lead, but he was too busy playing the gentleman and so, he never initiated much of anything - except for a hug or a kiss. This frustrated Rey. She wasn’t sure what to make of his ‘actions.’

Was he just not that into her? Was trying to spare her her feelings? Why hasn’t he made a more serious effort or move? Rey pondered.

Kylo, like any man, could only take so much and once the limit has been reached…

****  
Kylo and Rey were slow dancing in the living room. Kylo is positioned behind Rey, his hands resting gingerly on her hips with his nose and mouth nuzzling against Rey’s neck.

This time, Kylo didn’t bother to hide it. Rey felt his desire. At first, she wasn’t sure if it was just his hand pressing against her, until she realizes that both his hands are still holding onto her hips as they subtly sway to the music.

Rey’s eyes widen with wonderment and secret excitement.

She wants to tell him, to confess her status, but she doesn’t think that she could bear his reaction if it is unfavorable.

They have been dating for two months now, and the tension is unbearable; especially for Kylo. He’s been more than patient, because it is Rey; his everything.

“Rey.” Kylo whispers her name against her neck. It is more like a plea of desperation, than anything. So much was being asked in just his simple calling of her name.

“Yes?” Rey answers as she tilts her head to the side, showing interest in what is to come.

The tension in Kylo’s body tells her everything. From his tone, to his breathing against her neck, she knows what he is asking.

“I love being close to you, but the ache is far too great to continue to restrain myself. I want you, Rey.” Kylo confesses; his words are warm as they are spoken against her ear.

Rey freezes. She doesn’t know how to answer and she knows he is awaiting an answer.

“Kylo… I…” Rey pulls away from his embrace and turns to face him.

Kylo can see, that something has her flustered.

“What’s wrong, Rey?” Kylo’s eyes turn from lust into concern as he reaches out to stroke the side of her face.

“I… I don’t know how to tell you... I guess it is just best to come right out with it… I’m a virgin.” Rey had closed her eyes as she delivered the news. It was silly as if closing her eyes was going to make any bad reaction any more acceptable.

She slowly opens her hazel eyes to see Kylo with a rather expressionless look on his face. This worries Rey.

“Are you... mad?” She asks in a very docile tone.

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” Kylo responds instantly, shaking his head.

“I… I don’t know. I guess I thought that some men want someone with more experience, maybe they don’t want to play the ‘teacher’.”

Kylo hadn’t really considered that Rey could be a virgin. He assumed because she is so pretty, smart and inviting, that she would have already given herself to someone, prior.

Kylo felt immense pressure. He already worried about his size issue hindering his chances with her, and he had planned to dazzle her more with his oral skills, but now that he knows she’s a virgin and that she wants him to be her first, he doesn’t want her first time to be disastrous. He wants her to experience nothing but pleasure; no pain, no disappointment.

“Rey, forgive me. It was not my intention to pressure you.”

“No, I didn’t feel pressured. In fact, I was wondering why you had taken so long to show a sexual interest in me.”

Kylo laughs, subtly. He pulls Rey up to him, for a kiss.

“I’ve been interested from the start. I guess you make me want to be a better man and to behave like a gentleman.” Kylo tells Rey as he kisses her once more.

“You’re okay with me being a virgin, then?” Rey asks, seeking approval.

“Yes, of course. You have nothing to worry about, in regards to that.” Kylo reassures. Rey smiles in relief.

“I must confess something, Rey…”

Rey’s mind starts to reel, upon hearing his words. ‘Surely Kylo isn’t a virgin?’ She ponders.

Kylo’s cheeks are blushing. Rey is secretly amused to see Kylo in such a state.

“Rey... I don’t know how to explain this… I’m not sure if I am the best choice at being your first.”

Rey’s heart sinks in her chest. To her, she hears rejection. ‘He doesn’t want me.’ Is her line of thought.

Kylo quickly see’s that Rey has misunderstood. He sees her eyes widened because, if she blinks, tears will fall.

“Rey… no-no.” He cajoles as he pulls her into his arms. Rey stiffens.

“You misunderstand.” He comforts her.

Rey can’t look at Kylo, her tears have already started to fall.

“Rey, the issue is not that I don’t want to be your first. I want you. I’ve wanted you from the start. I fantasize about you constantly. The problem is… past lovers had difficulties with my…size.” Kylo finally gets the words out.

Rey’s tears cease as she looks up at Kylo, pondering what he had just told her.

“I seem to be rather...endowed... and I’ve been told that sex with me, isn’t the most comfortable for a woman.”

“Oh.” Rey’s only reply.

“It’s completely up to you, Rey; whether you still want me to… I just don’t want your first time to be a disappointment.” Kylo offers.

Rey smiles at Kylo, for his thoughtfulness and concern for her pleasure.

Rey demurely takes a hold of Kylo’s hand and gives him a quick glance back over the side of her shoulder, as she leads him towards his bedroom.


End file.
